Just a thought

Recently after I was terribly depressed about some personal issues, I realised I didn't spring back to the happy person I was, bubbly and always looking forward to what is going on in my day.

I became really empty. Not as in the i'm deprived of something empty because I have everything I wanted. Love, friends, hobbies. But I no longer look forward to anything anymore, it feels like I've lived a thousand years and is actually sick of life.

I don't get it, I'm not depressed. In fact I feel really blessed. But the thought to end my life still lingers because I no longer feel the thrill and excitement in life anymore, like maybe I have cleared all my missions in my life already I don't know.

I know its not true but still sometimes the thought of killing myself goes so strong I have to cut myself to make myself feel alive.

What is happening. I really don't want to upset anybody.

Nowadays I feel like a spirit trapped inside this human body,

just existing

and wasting human resources that can be meant for so many people who treasure life more than mine.

Question to myself

So I'm back to this blog.
I've been thinking about going back to blogging for quite awhile,
but this time maybe I will blog about books I've read.
However, the question is
Should I start a new blog or should I revive this blog and continue its journey?
Questions Questions Questions.
Also, I do art,
Devianart: http://sweetcandy9696.deviantart.com/
Tumblr: http://insteadofassignments.tumblr.com/ (am moving away from this art blog soon)
 I don't post regularly, I usually post all my artworks all at once during the weekends.
(And only the nice ones.)

TA-TAS~