Recently after I was terribly depressed about some personal issues, I realised I didn't spring back to the happy person I was, bubbly and always looking forward to what is going on in my day.
I became really empty. Not as in the i'm deprived of something empty because I have everything I wanted. Love, friends, hobbies. But I no longer look forward to anything anymore, it feels like I've lived a thousand years and is actually sick of life.
I don't get it, I'm not depressed. In fact I feel really blessed. But the thought to end my life still lingers because I no longer feel the thrill and excitement in life anymore, like maybe I have cleared all my missions in my life already I don't know.
I know its not true but still sometimes the thought of killing myself goes so strong I have to cut myself to make myself feel alive.
What is happening. I really don't want to upset anybody.
Nowadays I feel like a spirit trapped inside this human body,
just existing
and wasting human resources that can be meant for so many people who treasure life more than mine.
