Sad.

Been so long since I've felt this way. The "sad, frustrated, with a lot of pent up emotions in me" mood. I get this kind of mood when im home after a busy day and an argument has to be created at the peaceful atmosphere of the house. And the argument was about such a trivial matter. I don't get it. Just forget about it.
I hate how tough I always want to be. I want to be my own hero, thus I resist breaking down or showing my weak side to others. I never complained how painful it was to fall because I believed it was part of building me up. I trained myself so I won't fear for my safety.
As a female, having this kind of character/attitude is to a disadvantage, I don't like how males care for females because I kinda think it makes females look weak. Thus I always push them away. It's just my mentality, my opinion. Of course, sometimes I wonder whether I'm doing the right thing or will I regret it.
 However often, I stand back up and just suck it up. I have this energy bar for both work and play. Each has 100% and if I don't spend it I get really restless and it feels like I have not really used the day for a good purpose.
There goes my rant. see ya.

Disgusted

Today I sat down and reflected to myself. 
I just realised how disgusting my actions were. 
Its the actions I told myself to avoid at all cost. 
Because these are the things that cause misunderstanding
 and arguments to occur. 
Somehow it may because I had enough already and 
I just want to find places where I can just have fun 
without having to worrying about such trivial matters.
 Yes, if only everybody can get along.
I should stay away from social media,
 there's just too much going on there and
 its making me unhappy.

I want:

Short post about some thing I would really want in life
 to make it a little more happier~

I want:

-Coffee buddy/ Reading buddy:

So far I have none. I really want a friend who is willing to go to the library with me
 and just sit down with me for the morning/afternoon.
 I probably wouldn't be free at night lol. 
 A friend who can discuss about the books that he/she is currently reading and ask about mine. 
Then we switched and cycles goes on. 
That would be awesome. 
Or simply a coffee buddy,
 someone where is willing to sit down with me over a cup of coffee
 and just talk.
 It could be anything under the sun.
 I keep my conversation topics wideeee so I can learn about everything LOL. 
From politics, psychology, classmates to maybe something simpler such as... hobbies! 
Sigh but I don't think I can find a coffee buddy at my age...
Most of them wouldn't want to just sit over a cup of coffee and talk about....LIFE. 
I will have to wait till im older~

-More memory:

If you don't know,
 I have the worst memory ever.
 I think this was the effects of not sleeping/ unhealthy sleeping patterns.
 I probably have already forgotten what I are last night....
But wait...who remembers that?
I want to have more memory!! 
This would serve me good in work and well simply more efficient in life? 
 LOL. I'm trying ways to improve my memory and changing my sleep patterns.
 Changing a sleep pattern requires so much "hard work" lol.
 Especially during the holidays!!

-Explore:

By exploring I mean in Singapore.
 I want to explore all around Singapore since this is my homeland. 
After that I would probably make plans on where to travel next haha. 
But for right now it is to travel to all the places in Singaporeee.
I would love to try out all kinds of food in the world. 
Talking about food makes my mouth water,
I should start my food hunting adventures soon !!

I think thats all for now. 
Love is not in my list because I don't think I am ready for a relationship yet.
I can't even not feel awkward when I'm talking to boys lol
.Or maybe I think I've talked too much.
And also, I'm analyzing most of them to see which one I will most possibly click with.
I wouldn't not admit seeing all my schoolmates getting into relationships is 
making me tempted to get into one too.
Let's see if the heart or brain wins this.