Sad.

Been so long since I've felt this way. The "sad, frustrated, with a lot of pent up emotions in me" mood. I get this kind of mood when im home after a busy day and an argument has to be created at the peaceful atmosphere of the house. And the argument was about such a trivial matter. I don't get it. Just forget about it.
I hate how tough I always want to be. I want to be my own hero, thus I resist breaking down or showing my weak side to others. I never complained how painful it was to fall because I believed it was part of building me up. I trained myself so I won't fear for my safety.
As a female, having this kind of character/attitude is to a disadvantage, I don't like how males care for females because I kinda think it makes females look weak. Thus I always push them away. It's just my mentality, my opinion. Of course, sometimes I wonder whether I'm doing the right thing or will I regret it.
 However often, I stand back up and just suck it up. I have this energy bar for both work and play. Each has 100% and if I don't spend it I get really restless and it feels like I have not really used the day for a good purpose.
There goes my rant. see ya.